Louisville, KY – In an announcement that has digestive tracts across the country rumbling, Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) has announced the September release of a brand new multi-food bowl offering guaranteed to induce immediate, possibly violent, diarrhea.
Following in the tradition of the restaurant chain’s wildly successful Famous Bowl, KFC’s new “Yummtastic Bowl” consists of cream corn, uncooked chicken skin, mop-bucket water and a variety of other unnamed ingredients randomly poured into an inexpensive plastic bowl.
“KFC’s long-standing tradition of providing families with inexpensive meal options, none of which can be proven with 100% certainty to cause diabetes, is alive and well,” said company CEO Dean Kepler. “With the release of this tasty new offering, no longer will hungry Americans need to spend hours attempting to create a mildly edible meal out of tainted, discarded and otherwise-leftover food items. Now, KFC will do it for you!”