London, UK – Christopher Nolan, the director known the world around for his dark, complex and visually inventive film-making, is taking his craft to a new level. The mind behind The Dark Knight trilogy, Memento, and The Prestige, has announced plans to simultaneously film three separate sequels to his box office smash Inception and insert each into the plot of two yet-to-be-filmed Inception prequels.

Released in 2010, Inception told the story of Dom Cobb, a thief who commits corporate espionage by infiltrating the dreams of his targets. Starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Ken Watanabee, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Ellen Page, the film featured a number of sequences where characters entered multiple levels of their subject’s subconscious in order to manipulate their conscious actions.

Labeled “brilliant” by many critics and “confusing as fuck” by others, the film was one of the most critically acclaimed films of 2010. It was nominated for eight Academy Awards, including Best Picture and Best Original Screenplay, and currently stands as the 30th highest grossing film of all time.

Nolan, while pleased with the Inception‘s critical and commercial success, was rumored to have been furious with Warner Bros. executives for forcing him to edit his film down from twelve hours to two-and-a-half, including the removal of a two-hour scene of Cobb explaining how to dream about explaining a dream. As a result of the tension, Nolan has decided to fund each of the new films independently.

“To be honest, I felt as though the studio forced us to dumb down Inception to the point where it was almost too easy to understand,” said Nolan from his London estate. “In order to grow as a director and transcend beyond the first film’s simple boundaries, I believe it is necessary to have multiple films—each with its own multi-level storytelling arc—playing within two separate prequels set years prior to the original film. Just talking about it confuses and arouses me to no end!”

According to Nolan, Inception 2: Still Dreaming, Inception 3: Gravity Schmavity and Inception 4: Mal, I Want a Divorce are set to begin filming in May 2013 and will be strategically spliced with film from prequels Inception: The Conception and Inception: The End of the Middle of the Beginning.

While Nolan has refused to reveal details regarding the various prequel and sequel story lines, a source close to the studio reportedly provided TMZ with script notes written in Nolan’s handwriting. According to the leaked documents, the plot of the five-films-in-one film revolves around Cobb and a series of disturbing dreams he’s been having about dreams he used to have as a child who couldn’t dream. Other rumored story lines include Cobb getting fired from his job for day-dreaming and Bruce Wayne falling down a bat-filled well while dreaming.

News of the forthcoming films has been met with rabid enthusiasm by Inception fan groups across the globe. In recent weeks, heavy web traffic has caused several Inception-related websites to crash, forcing many fans to come out of their parents’ basements and interact with other humans face-to-face.

“Watching Christopher Nolan’s press conference the other day was about as surreal a moment as I’ve ever experienced,” stated Barry Anderson, founder of the Chicago-based fan group Inception Erection. “As I listened to him explain how two of the sequels would simultaneously play on the same screen as one of the prequels, while German subtitles from the third sequel and dyslexic-friendly subtitles from the second prequel would appear on LED monitors spread throughout the theater, my ears started to bleed pretty bad. I’m talking about a serious amount of blood here. Not sure, but I’m thinking that means these films are going to be vintage Nolan!”

In an effort to reach the broadest audience possible, Nolan is also rumored to be exploring new technology that will allow him to screen the film(s) directly into the minds of unconscious people, bringing the coma patient demographic into play for the first time in movie history. If successful, ticket fees would be added directly to patients’ hospital bills and/or withdrawn from their wills upon death.

“I feel that everybody, conscious or not, should have the right to enjoy my amazing, thought-provoking films,” said Nolan. “Just because coma patients and Alzheimers sufferers may not vocally ask to see my brain-twisting masterpieces, it doesn’t mean they wouldn’t want me to force them to watch my movies while they’re helpless to resist.”