Leader of Occupy Chili’s Movement Actually Restaurant’s Assistant Manager

a0bb7-baby2bbackDayton, OH – Members of the Occupy Chili’s movement were stunned Tuesday to learn that protest organizer Gerald Atwell was also working as an assistant manager at the national restaurant chain’s Dayton location.

Atwell, who first launched Occupy Chili’s via Facebook back in September, was largely responsible for drawing local attention to the movement. Armed with a mission of ensuring that all Americans receive equal opportunity to partake in Chili’s ever-expanding menu of flavorful entrees and delicious desserts, the movement had recently grown to just over fourteen members, all Caucasian, ranging from ages 36-39.

Until recently, movement members met nightly at the Dayton restaurant to discuss protest strategies and snack on a wide variety of items from Chili’s “Any-tizers” menu of loaded potato skins, mozzarella sticks, and boneless chicken wings. With the news of Atwell’s involvement with Chili’s coming to light, movement members unanimously voted to strip Atwell of all organizational power and reduce the number of meetings held at the restaurant to four a week.

“We all feel betrayed by Gerald’s corruption of the movement,” said new Occupy Chili’s leader Annabeth Dickinson. “There are members who can no longer finish a Jalepeño Smokehouse Bacon Burger with a smile on their face since the news came out. The hurt runs THAT deep.”

Atwell has defended his role in both the movement and Chili’s, arguing that one has nothing to do with the other. Before his removal from the group, he reportedly offered to move future meetings to the Beaver Creek, OH Chili’s in order to shed the appearance of bias.

“Personally, I don’t see how my employment with Chili’s should in any way detract from the movement’s overall mission of making sure the nation’s bottom 99% enjoy just as many varieties of tasty entrée options as the top 1%,” said Atwell from his 4’ x 6’ office next to the women’s restroom. “We need to be focused on why the wealthiest members of this nation feel that only they deserve the lime-infused goodness of our Margarita Grilled Chicken, not where my paycheck comes from.”

As of this report, Occupy Chili’s organizers in Toledo and Cincinnati have offered Dayton members “Buy One Entrée, Get Half Off a Second Entrée” coupons to all Dayton members wishing to relocate to their respective protests.

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